Snarks

Yes, there are snarks.  They're extremely annoying, ridiculous looking little monsters that run around with pessimistic and cynical points of view.  Missing something? Still believe the borrowers took it?  Sorry to disappoint you, but your earrings weren't taken by cute little elves so they could admire them, they were snatched without care by these slobbering little creatures who thought that since you didn't look the best in them, there was no sense in anyone having them.  What will they do with them?  It doesn't matter.  They can use them for mud boots as far as they're  concerned.  After all, a snark's perspective on life is that the world is flat and we're living on a giant land-mass boat sailing off the edge.

I happened to capture a snark.  I sat in my library one day, repeating positive thinking tools from a new manual: "I believe that I have the ability to believe in my abilities" (a slightly reminiscent, if not more verbose version of nephew's latest manual on positive thinking: The Little Engine That Could).  When the snark heard me recite this, it laughed so hard that it fell off the table where it was going to relieve me of my keys - after all, no one needs keys when we're going to fall off the edge of the world.  It fell conveniently into my plate of spaghetti where, after moments of flailing, it became sufficiently stuck.  I keep it in a glass jar beside my computer.  (*sigh* Yes, there are air holes.)  Whenever I sit down to write, it constantly comments on everything.  Sometimes I listen to it without knowing and write it down.  Sometimes, I write what I'm supposed to.  Whatever happens, if you don't like what you read, blame it on the snark.  Which I creatively named, in a clouded haze one morning before getting my coffee, Snark.

NOTE: no snarks were harmed in the writing of this blog